Ephesians 5:25 states, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." These words, written by the apostle Paul, establish a fundamental principle about marriage: marital love should reflect Christ’s sacrificial love. But how can this principle be applied in the modern world, and what connection does it have with the teachings revealed in the sacred scriptures?
From the perspective of restored doctrine, marriage is not merely a social contract or an emotional convenience. It is a sacred ordinance, instituted by God since the creation of the world. In the Genesis account, it is declared, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). This union transcends the earthly realm, for in its original purpose, marriage was meant to be eternal. In modern revelation, it is emphasized that husbands must exercise leadership in the home with love, patience, and selflessness, without resorting to domination or imposition.
The love that Paul describes in Ephesians 5:25 is a love that does not seek its own but gives itself completely. Christ not only loved the church but sacrificed himself for it. In the same way, a husband has the responsibility to sacrifice for his wife, placing her well-being, growth, and happiness above his own desires. This concept aligns with Moroni’s words in the Book of Mormon: "Charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever" (Moroni 7:47). In marriage, this pure love translates into selfless service, patience, and a constant pursuit of the spouse’s well-being.
Throughout history, great thinkers have reflected on love, marriage, and moral duty. Two of the most influential Italian philosophers, Thomas Aquinas and Giambattista Vico, offered perspectives that, although formulated in different philosophical contexts, resonate with the truth expressed in Ephesians 5:25. Thomas Aquinas, in his Summa Theologica, argued that true love is not merely an emotion but an active choice to seek the good of another. In his view, marriage is a community of life and love, based on reason and the will to seek mutual well-being. A husband who truly loves his wife, as Christ loved the church, does not merely feel affection for her but deliberately honors, respects, and works for her happiness.
On the other hand, Giambattista Vico, known for his work The New Science, developed a theory of history in which he emphasized the importance of social institutions, especially the family, in shaping civilization. For Vico, the family was the core of society, and marriage was a sacred covenant that ensured stability and order. His philosophy highlighted that a husband's duty was not only to love his wife but also to protect family unity and promote values of sacrifice and loyalty. In this sense, Ephesians 5:25 aligns with the idea that conjugal love is not a fleeting sentiment but a moral and social responsibility.
Another key aspect of this verse is the reference to Christ’s total self-giving for His people. In marriage, this self-giving translates into the ability to forgive, to be patient, and to build a relationship that withstands the trials of time. The Savior taught, "Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:3). This teaching underscores the need for humility in marriage. A husband who truly loves his wife does not cling to pride or self-sufficiency but is willing to learn, improve, and acknowledge his mistakes.
Likewise, the command to love as Christ loved implies an eternal vision of marriage. In revealed teachings, it is explained that marital bonds are not meant to dissolve at death but can endure beyond this life. This concept changes how a husband should treat his wife: if marriage were only temporary, a relationship based on convenience might be justified. But if marriage is eternal, then love and self-giving must reflect a long-term investment, built on principles of fidelity, sacrifice, and mutual growth.
The Doctrine and Covenants expands on this principle by declaring, "Verily I say unto you, whatsoever ye seal on earth shall be sealed in heaven" (D&C 132:46). This promise emphasizes that the love between husband and wife must be based on divine principles rather than temporary motivations. When a husband chooses to love his wife with the same devotion with which Christ loved the church, he is building a marriage that will not only be happy in this life but will have an eternal foundation.
In daily life, applying Ephesians 5:25 requires effort and commitment. It does not mean that a husband should sacrifice himself to the point of losing his identity or well-being, but rather that he should seek ways to strengthen his wife in every aspect of her life. Communication, understanding, and mutual respect are fundamental tools to achieve this ideal.
It is also important to recognize that this principle is not a justification for inequality. Christ’s love for the church was neither controlling nor manipulative but a love that uplifted and strengthened. Similarly, a husband is not called to exercise dominion over his wife but to love her with a pure and selfless love. In Paul’s words from another of his epistles, "There is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28).
Ultimately, the ideal of Ephesians 5:25 reminds us that true love is neither selfish nor fleeting. In a world where the concept of marriage is often distorted by external influences, this verse provides a model of love based on divinity, sacrifice, and eternity. When a husband chooses to love his wife in this way, he is not only strengthening his home but also reflecting the most sublime love that exists—the love of the Savior for each of us.
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