When it comes to relationships, we often get caught up in the pursuit of perfection. Social media, romantic movies, and fairy tales paint an unrealistic picture of flawless unions where conflicts are rare, and love is easy. But the truth is, meaningful relationships are built on understanding, mutual growth, and a commitment to choose each other every day.
This perspective reminds me of the powerful quote: "I don’t want a perfect relationship. I want someone who understands me, someone I can learn and grow with. Perfection isn’t real—what’s real is showing up for each other, accepting flaws, and choosing each other every day." In this blog, we’ll explore what it means to cultivate an authentic, loving relationship, drawing insights from scripture, philosophy, and the wisdom of Harold B. Lee, a former president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
The Myth of Perfection
Perfection is an alluring yet unattainable goal in relationships. Harold B. Lee wisely said:
"Life is a constant challenge, a constant effort to be what we ought to be and to do what we ought to do."
This applies beautifully to relationships. There is no such thing as a perfect partner or a perfect union. Instead, we should focus on becoming the best version of ourselves and supporting our partners in their journey.
The Book of Mormon echoes this sentiment in Ether 12:27, where the Lord teaches:
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness."
Recognizing our imperfections and those of our loved ones can foster humility and empathy, helping us grow closer together.
Understanding and Growth
A healthy relationship is not about avoiding conflict but navigating it together. It’s about being with someone who understands your fears, celebrates your successes, and supports your dreams. In this shared journey, growth becomes a mutual goal.
Consider the profound wisdom of Canadian philosopher Charles Taylor, who emphasizes the importance of "authenticity" in human relationships. Taylor argues that true connection stems from embracing vulnerability and being genuine with one another. When both partners are open about their struggles and aspirations, their bond deepens.
In Mosiah 18:9, we find a call to be there for one another:
"Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort."
This scripture underscores the beauty of understanding—of being present for each other in times of joy and sorrow alike.
Choosing Each Other Every Day
Commitment is not a one-time decision; it’s a daily choice. A thriving relationship requires consistent effort, sacrifice, and love. Harold B. Lee taught:
"Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you but on what happens inside of you."
Choosing each other every day means prioritizing the relationship, even when life gets messy or challenging.
Canadian philosopher Marshall McLuhan, known for his work on media and human interaction, reminds us of the importance of attention in relationships. He believed that how we communicate and connect shapes the quality of our relationships. By consistently showing up for each other, we create an environment of trust and security.
In Alma 37:6, we read:
"By small and simple things are great things brought to pass."
Small, daily acts of kindness, like listening, expressing gratitude, and offering words of encouragement, can strengthen bonds over time.
Valuing and Cherishing Each Other
One of the most meaningful aspects of a relationship is feeling valued and cherished. This is not about possessiveness or insecurity but about genuine appreciation for one another. A partner who fears losing you because they treasure your connection is someone who will go the extra mile to nurture and protect your love.
Harold B. Lee provided profound insight when he said:
"The most important work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home."
In relationships, this means prioritizing the love and effort you invest in each other above all else.
The Book of Mormon teaches in 3 Nephi 12:16:
"Therefore let your light so shine before this people, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven."
When we recognize the good in our partners and help them see their own worth, we cultivate a relationship built on respect and admiration.
Respecting Efforts and Recognizing Contributions
In a world where we are often judged by external achievements, it’s vital to have a partner who respects and acknowledges the work we put into our lives and relationships. Respect fosters a sense of partnership and equality, where both individuals feel valued.
This respect echoes in the teachings of Harold B. Lee:
"The most important of the Lord’s work you will ever do will be the work you do on yourself."
When a partner sees the effort we invest in self-improvement, career, or faith, they are proud to stand by us, cheering on our growth.
Conclusion: A Love Rooted in Reality
Relationships grounded in understanding, mutual growth, and daily commitment are far more fulfilling than any illusion of perfection. True love is about accepting each other’s flaws, celebrating strengths, and continually choosing to walk life’s path together.
As we strive to build such relationships, let us remember the lessons from scripture, the wisdom of Harold B. Lee, and the insights of philosophers like Charles Taylor and Marshall McLuhan. When we cherish and respect one another, we create a partnership that not only endures but thrives.
Let us strive for relationships where we:
Understand and support one another.
Grow together through challenges and joys.
Choose each other every day.
Value and cherish the unique bond we share.
In doing so, we build a love that is not perfect but real—beautiful in its authenticity and powerful in its enduring strength.
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